How are you supposed to know what to do for the rest of your life? Everyone always says you've got plenty of time-but I don't think so. In college you can only go so far completing your GEC's before you have to take your core classes for your major. And then even once you pick a major you're likely to change your mind; you realize it's not practical for you for one reason or another and are back to square one. Now this wouldn't be so bad if thousands of dollars of debt weren't on the line.
I realize that all the choices that I've made my friends, past experiences, what I've applied for, what I didn't apply for, my dependence, my college, and my major (that I've changed once and who knows might change again) have all led me here.
To this state of confusion and anxiety that never truly goes away. It's true that everyone feels this sometimes, but the consistent doubts in my not-so-solid plans doesn't help my sense of security.
The questions:
"What's your major?"
&
"Oh. What are you planning to do with that?"
They always pull my heart and not in a sad romantic comedy type way. Yes I have a plan. Is it practical?-Probably not. Can I say with even 60% confidence that I can do it? No. But I'm told this whole college thing is a learning process.
I'm learning:
-That it doesn't get any easier.
-That Pizza makes you fat.
-That living and being around girls all the time- makes you irritated all the time.
-That I love my dog too much.
-That I am super dependent and feel extremely guilty about it.
-That I have no idea what I'm doing.
Maybe that's okay. Maybe it's not.
I certainly have no idea.
Until next time (if there ever is a next time).
Carly.
